


The Dilemma of a Boy who's Self-Aware

by haar_nel



Series: Softly, the clock of love [1]
Category: Fire Emblem Heroes, Fire Emblem Series
Genre: AU where Gustav doesn't die lol, Alfonse POV, Also kind of, Angst, Book III referenced, Fluff, Let my boy fall in love, Songfic, kind of, no beta we die like Gustav in canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:28:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22660267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haar_nel/pseuds/haar_nel
Summary: As a member of the Order of Heroes and the prince of the Kingdom of Askr, with a war almost knocking on their door, he can't see himself distracted by something as silly as love, especially with someone who was supposed to go back to their world later on.Yet, willpower is not stronger than the heart.A songfic based on 意識高い乙女のジレンマ (The Dilemma of a Girl who's Self-Aware) by Tsubaki Factory.
Relationships: Alfonse/Summoner | Eclat | Kiran
Series: Softly, the clock of love [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1630231
Comments: 1
Kudos: 34





	The Dilemma of a Boy who's Self-Aware

**Author's Note:**

> This was written at 12am and finished at 2am
> 
> Enjoy

Standing there in that balcony, both of them being distracted by the clouds floating on top of them, the soft breeze hitting their faces from time to time.

Alfonse survived the first curse casted upon him, Kiran somehow managed to save the king before it was too late, but Hel wouldn't stop there.

A second curse was casted, and 6 days has been since then.

There was a way to defeat death itself, stop her for once and for all, which had them in better moods than the days prior.

Except for Alfonse himself.

Months ago, he noticed a change in himself, something he didn't want to happen; as he slowly grew closer to the summoner, he found himself thinking of them more often than could be considered normal. He would smile when talking to them, when being with them, or just by thinking of them, his heart would beat faster, his face would feel warm, and his sister would tease him a lot. He let out a huff.

"This is just nonsense", muttered Alfonse, with no intention of being heard by his companion but, being standing as close as they were, it was hard not to.

Kiran turned to him, raising a hand to place it on his shoulder. "It will be fine, Alfonse, we'll defeat Hel", they said, thinking that was the reason the prince looked so distressed, finishing the sentence with a warm smile.

Alfonse couldn't help but be mesmerized by that sight, the smile, the slightly tinted cheeks, the shinning eyes, just Kiran in general.

A sigh escaped him.

He was in love.

Returning the smile with a smaller one on his part, they both looked ahead again, seeing as the wind moved the trees and its leaves.

"If I could make just one wish," he whispers to nothing, "I would ask for a copy of myself". One could fight the war, the other could let his heart get what it so desires.

Choosing between love and duty, why do we have to do such a thing?

He once called life a dilemma he didn't want to deal with, they called him a self aware boy, and with time it became some sort of running joke between them.

"This is a dilemma... the dilemma of a boy who's self aware", they replied to him while still looking ahead, a barely noticeable smile could be seen in their face.

Seconds of silence followed, before it was broken by soft giggles.

As the hours went by, and while he went through his daily routine, Alfonse couldn't help but think, let his mind bury itself in past events.

Going back long ago, his father once said that, as how important as love is, your duty must come first, especially if a kingdom and the people from it were under your care.

Yet, he couldn't help but wonder...

Wasn't there a way not to choose between those 2 things? To have both?

Wasn't it possible to protect a kingdom and still have time for something as innocent and as desirable as love?

Maybe he was too young to understand, he wanted to believe, but...

"Brother, is everything okay?" Sharena abruptly woke him up from his daydreaming, a worried expression clearly in her face.

Before he could even ask why, Anna interrupted, "this is the tenth time you've sighed since dinner began".

"Tenth ti-" incredulous, he was once again interrupted.

"I've been counting them, Alfonse".

Looking to his side, he found Kiran also staring at him with worry in their eyes.

What would he do to seen them smile instead...

He spent a long time explaining that he was fine, nothing was wrong and he was just tired, perhaps he should go to bed after dinner tonight instead of going to the library again.

Which he did, except that he couldn't find it in himself to sleep so easily.

"If I could make one wish," he muttered in the emptiness of his room, looking at the roof, "I would like to live my life twice".

"In one life, I could focus on following my duties, while in the other life I could follow my heart."

Being proud of his own reasoning, a smile started forming on his face, that is until he found a fail in his plan.

"What tells me that I wouldn't want to follow my heart in both lives?" The incredulous whisper felt too eye-opening for his liking. "What if I suffer in both cases? What if I quit everything?"

"What if I can never follow my heart?"

He sighs for who know how many times at that point, chuckling at himself. "What would Kiran say if they could hear me right now?"

He knows what they would say. Their voice was clear in his head, thanks to how much he's heard it so far, how many times they spend time together. The words would go together with a giggle, not loud enough to consider it as if making fun of him, but not quiet enough to ignore it.

"This is the dilemma of a boy who's self aware".

He finally falls asleep, with a fluttering feeling in his chest.

He might not be supposed to fall in love, especially with the summoner, who would have to go home one day, who he promised wouldn't get close to, but it was too late to stop his heart.

It was too late to go back.

It wasn't until next morning that, after breakfast, Kiran took him back to the balcony, saying something about needing to talk. Judging by the slight shaking of their hands, it had to be very important.

"You see, Alfonse," they began once the doors to the balcony were closed, "I've been thinking about this for a while and", stopping to take a deep breath and then continuing, "if you would have me, I want to stay here in Askr".

The shock on his face was evident, there was no doubt. "What do you mean?"

With another deep breath, Kiran turned to look at the front, "I don't wish to go back to my world", they said, in a whisper, "I wanna stay here forever instead".

Alfonse couldn't believe it, the declaration taking him by surprise and staying silent for a while.

Finally, a smile formed on his face and, taking a deep breath himself, he took the summoner by their shoulders, forcing them to look at him. "It would be a pleasure to have you stay here forever with me, with us".

Kiran visibly relaxed at that, letting go of the breath they were holding. They smiled back at him, their eyes shinning beautifully.

War was just around the corner, and with no other than the queen of the death realm, his life was in danger, only 2 days left for Hel to try and take him away, only for them to end her.

No mentioning possible conflict between Askr and Embla that could break out at any moment, taking advantage of their currently weakened forces.

Yet, Alfonse would undoubtedly throw everything away, every duty as a knight, every responsibility as a prince, every fear and regret, and let his heart make the choice for his future, if he had the chance.

But he couldn't let that happen, or at least not yet. Not when so many things, so many lives are at risk.

This was truly a dilemma.

The dilemma of a boy who's self aware.

**Author's Note:**

> This was it! If you find any typo please let me know
> 
> Again, it's 2am and I basically had to translate from 2 languages to english while half asleep in order to write this sjxjksxbks
> 
> Good night y'all, love you


End file.
